Gun to the head?

(We had earlier discussed how he set about his work like he had a gun to his head)

I felt familiar with this workstyle, but then there came a time -

there were extenuating circumstances that I proved unable to abort,
and so I picked up my head
and dropped my hands
and I dared them to shoot,
not caring about the consequences, but only wanting to stop.

And, there was only silence.
And the other people talking. Doors opening and closing. The wind through the trees. And bicycles passing by.

And so I went on my way.

I have felt resistant to putting myself back in that mentality, since I have unfortunately learned to call my own bluffs, and since I doubt they will actually shoot.

But, now and then I wonder if maybe its just that all those bullets I've defied are waiting for me to walk into them in the future.