I believe that this first homework assignment from Tom Wieting has contributed much to the landscape of my thoughts over the last four years.
Do we say that a thing is what it is, because it does what it does, or that it does what it does, because it is what it is?
And to think I thought I could answer it just once ...
I take a slow breath and remind myself of this guy, saying that the obstacles are there to keep out the people who don't want it badly enough.
I was talking with him on the phone about housemate interactions - internal good will and the use of chorewars, billmonk and the like - when he made a distinction between a household where it was more like a family and ..(here I waited, because I couldn't tell what the contrast would be) .. shared housing like a dorm where people are more just sharing the space.
From reflecting on his distinction (his words held a mirror to my assumptions), I don't think I have ever considered living with people without considering them family. Certainly I have lived in some families composed of very autonomous individuals, or families of individuals with whom I did not interact all that much, but to live in a place with other people and not consider them some kind of family feels very foreign to me.
It now occurs to me that it is possible for others to live with people (including me) and perhaps not consider themselves to be in some kind of family. Especially, because I'm now guessing that sometime in the future, I will have to live with people that do not consider me family or whom I will not be able to consider as family. At least now, if this unfortunate event transpires, I will probably be confused for less time.
I used to feel a need to escape and have the freedom to become a different person.
But, now I think what I need is to be myself.
So, in a sense, I guess I was right.
This is a great story:
The Missing Piece Meets the Big O
by Shel Silverstein
More songs I like today (click on the text for a link to a better YouTube video):
"*Happy Ending"
-Mika
"My Interpretation"
-Mika
Since I think that the way I view other people is largely based on the way I perceive myself, . . .
in order to be more considerate and real with others,
I will need to be more reasonable and comfortable in myself.
OK.
