Lucid

Some people have the ability to control their dreams.

Sometimes, I have the ability to assure myself that eventually it will be ok - it's only a dream and whatever happens, I will wake up in the future.

But, sometimes, when I'm awake (I think)
I feel like the moment I stand in is fluid and I could make anything happen next - anything - if I believed it enough to commit a thought to what I want to have happen. It feels too amorphous and very confusing, and I know I could cast the feeling aside and continue on. But, the idea is so drawingly curious that, paralyzed and shaking with potential impossibilities, I wonder whether it could be true, and what I could do.

But inevitably, I accept the life and direction I had before.
I have responsibilities, you know.

And I carry on, but wondering
just how poor my ignorant, complacent decisions are
without having much for comparison.