Motion Sickness?

One option down:
My Watson Application was not approved.

If I pause for a moment to consider the possible forks of my future,

it is not the prospects that lead me on into uncharted territory:

- moving to pursue a Masters Degree
- teaching English or studying in a foreign country
- choosing some possible destinations and living out of my bicycle
- traveling to research something and write about it
- inventing my own low-budget Watson Year
- (grad school is a 'no' at this time)

The goals I set up, the many things I want to do, the process of attaining them are all far easier to deal with mentally than the prospect of not having an immediate direction to work towards.

I think,
that when I cannot see a possible future,
I get very unsettled and partially paralyzed.

All of the above options, with the time and effort they would require, seem more mentally/psychologically possible to me than an option that my Dad brought to my attention a few days ago: a well-paying job near home. It would probably be a good job. It interests me.

But the prospect of living - not at home, but just several hours north is incredibly daunting at this moment because my mind cannot imagine either the time or space components of this future.

I am just interested in the idea that I feel more agreeable to traveling solo around the world than staying still in someplace that is near, but not quite, home.

Perhaps I have an odd case of motion sickness
in which I feel ill if made to hold still.