8.13.2007

The Waking

by Theodore Roethke

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me, so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

Posted by Churaesie at 21:10

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2 comments:

Churaesie said...

Even before she opened her eyes, she knew she was disoriented. Swimming inevitably through a dark current toward consciousness, she knew that her mind would not fit the position of the body it found upon waking.

She met the confusion with her first breath of consciousness and let it drain over her as she opened her eyes remembering that, as surprising as every other morning, she found herself under her bed looking up at the frame.

To convince her sense of orientation, she gingerly stretched out her arms until her fingers unexpectedly met the bed frame above her and wall to her right. The mental adjustment viscerally flipped her as she pulled herself to the edge of her mattress to peer out over the floor like a sick seafarer.

She wondered whether she might be awakening into another dream

Finding herself on a mattress beneath a bed frame was not unusual, but being confused about it was. She habitually slept on the floor beneath the bedframe and behind a curtain of blanket draped above.

Even when frequently traveling, she
rarely awoke uncertain of her surroundings or hesitant to enter them. But for several days now, she'd awoken feeling as though she'd accidentally sailed into a different world.

This morning there was something else as well. It took her a while to recognize and name the concept. She'd just returned to school from Portland. Classes were not even underway. But there was some mistake. She shouldn't have woken up into this world. Perhaps closing her eyes and folding beneath the blankets would transport her back. In this world, she would have to go about a series of tasks as though she lived there.

She wanted to open her eyes to an orangy-brown calico carpet and dark green couches. She wanted to hear her mother moving about in the kitchen preparing to go outside and to see her brothers slowly becoming one with their electronics. She wanted to sit on the rocking chair where no one would subject her to their expectations. They wouldn't expect her to be anyone other than who she was.

But she knew that this plan would not work. Further, she'd just been home a few weeks ago. It would be at least half a year before she could go back. Whatever world she'd accidentally woken into would keep her. She would have to learn live in a foreign land.

for the first time, she felt homesick.




Now,
about 7 months later.
Her present is my past.
She came through many different paths to get to me. She did survive in her strange new world long enough to go home for a while last month.

I was just remembering
that a little over half a year ago,
I found myself irreversibly transported, with only forward to go.

I have adjusted much,
I am still finding my way.

13/8/07 22:01
Anonymous said...

There is a marvelous choral arrangement of the Theodore Roethke poem which I sang at Interlochen. The music is very minimalist and suits the words quite well. I wish I could remember the composer but I can't. I know I have a CD with a recording of the chorus performing it, and can retrieve it at some point if you'd like.

14/8/07 07:38

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