Tango is good for me

It all boils down to a single moment when you know exactly where you are in the universe,
and it's terrifying


These were the instructor's words as I walked into the already assembled Tango class.

Tango is close
You can hear them with your skin

Tango is about presence
Don't lose yourself in the crowd

and focus
Be completely aware of your partner


For someone who has always tried to stand on her own two feet, tried not to get in the way of others, tried to carry her own weight, tried not to impose herself,
it takes some getting used to.

Tango is playing a game of distance,
of pushing back
resistance
culminating in a most definitely shared motion. slide

It seemed to me like a walking game of team tai chi.

It most certainly takes two.
And this is what I want to learn:
how to take two separate, present, individual energies
and compose their distinct forces into an experience,
an achievement
unattainable by one alone.


It seems that this requires
sharing weight
imposing oneself
taking another's space (ask first)
and trusting that such actions will be received and returned.

It's a balance of both self and other that I cannot yet manage except in extremes.

I'm decent as an individual. Or as a nothing.
As part of a team?
I have a lot to learn.