born and raised in the Midwest
refined by fire
disassembled, gathered, and matured in Portland
Portland has been good to me.
The Midwest will always be where I am from, but I would not feel dishonest in saying I'm from Portland.
Both places have been environments of my development.
I'm a Midwesterner and a Portlander.
Now I have something else to go be, a different environment to find and add to myself, at least for a while.
If God is all-powerful, why doesn't he just solve the problems of the world with miracles?
I was walking past the front lawn near the swingset, thinking about how as we get older, we begin to understand that certain amounts of time 'fly by'. When I was young, all time took forever. At my current age, time escapes swiftly on the order of months. I'm sure that in another few decades I won't know where the last 5 or even 10 years went.
At the same time, it becomes ok for things to take longer. Right now, I can't imagine doing anything for more than 2 or 4 years at a time. When I was younger, all issues (deforestation, poverty, etc) must be resolved immediately. I'm sure now that when I'm aged and these are still problems, I won't be surprised, though I will still hope for a better future.
I imagined God as being infinitely old, having seen all that was and all that will be.
We are so young, and we are in such a hurry.
That's why we are impatient with God.
For someone so old, I thought, eons must seem like a moment.
No wonder He's in no hurry.
He's seen it all.
Someone infinitely old must have infinite patience. Nothing is urgent.
I remember thinking this was important and I should write it down.
It proceeded to stay only in my head for years. I think it has been at least 4 years, perhaps 5. Apparently, I found it certain enough to not be urgent in the writing.
Bad: Getting sucker-punched by life
Worse: Discovering that you got sucker-punched a while ago and didn't even realize it
Confusing: Wondering what else you haven't been noticing.
Embarrassing: Looking back and realizing how you set yourself up for it, and explaining to others how this could have happened.
Difficult: Communicating to straighten out the facts, compare stories, and figure out what kind of music must be faced, and when.
Looking forward to:
Persevering, moving on far enough, and building a solid enough sense of self to no longer feel embarrassed about explaining to others how you let yourself get sucker-punched. Never making similar mistakes again.
Good intentions and honest effort are important motivations.
They are desirable over bad intentions as far as internal guidance.
But, they are worth nothing compared to actions and outcomes.
