6.02.2011

patience

When I was younger, each day was its own eternity, and I wondered at adults' comments that months could seem to fly by.

When I was younger, I was amazed by my parents' relative lack of enthusiasm over holidays. They explained to me that although I had only seen a few holidays, holidays happened every year. After many years, you get used to them. I did not comprehend this.

Almost two decades later, I feel weeks flicker past. Holidays come and go like a wheel.

I think that if a person were to live infinitely, seeing all things, whole eons would pass in the blink of an eye and the heaves and surges of the world would become a steady ebb and flow.

I consider that God is infinite patience

Things

In school, one of the things that used to keep me awake was the wondering over how much of me was myself, and how much of me was made of parts that I incorporated from other people. I wondered whether there was a particular thing that I could point to that was myself, since I felt that there should be. If not, then who/what was I?

Now, I feel the situation has almost reversed. It feels almost easier to consider myself as an aggregate, refracted expression of experiences and preferences.

It seems natural that any one Thing is itself an organized, interdependent collection of other things.