One of these things is not like the others

I am not a particularly girly person. I spent a lot of time with male friends and tended to prefer them to female friends, (with the exception of the female friends that I felt good enough about to consider closer friends) and have invaded the male-dominated classrooms of physics and theoretical math.


I had thought that this meant I was not a victim or adversely affected by the 'patriarchal society' I'd heard so much about.

I now think this actually means that I was rather foolishly ignorant.

I have lived and grown in this culture for more than two decades, and only recently realized that the men elevated in history, science, and politics - the men with buildings named in their honor and whose likenesses are carved into public houses of justice, of business, and of religion -
I only recently realized that I am not supposed to grow up to emulate these men. I cannot. They do not represent me or my future.

I am going to grow up to be a woman.

And I am only beginning to understand that there is a difference, and to realize what this difference might mean.